I am ashamed.
Ashamed about my job
Ashamed about having Sex with Cisguys I would never have sex with in that way in my private life.
Ashamed about being a mother of a son of a whore and a daughter of a whore. I love them both a lot but I am the reason for their discrimination cause I am a whore.
I am ashamed cause you blame me.
I know you are a liar but my body reacts when I think about my “dirty” job, my collegues and my kids.
Every muscel in my body experienced whorestigma a lot.
My secret tears got covered with make up and sexworkactivismn.
Ashamed and proud in the same time.
I am loud and shout in the street. Try to smash whorestigma
I am ashamed.
I can't lie about it.
Cool clients, lovers and friends support us, help us to get rid of it. Forget about it.
But, in the end, when I am laying in my bed alone and think about my job.
I am ashamed.
Fuck you all (if you pay..)
I am proud to be a whore!!!!!!!!
Sexwork is work and whorestigma is violent!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.
break down stigma
May 2016 was my intense d month of the year. 4 weeks in London as part of the sexworkers opera. The sexworkers opera is a sexworkerled show. We are around 50% Sexworker and 50% Allies but the allies are not allowed to out themselves. We communicate this politic publicly so sexworker can choose if they are out or not. There are lots of good reasons to not be out as sexworker. As a queer “Lesbian”(1) with a transgendered body who is living in queer feminist places it's one of my privileges to be out as sexworker everywhere. I can give a shit about exclusion in the normative capitalist society cause they don't give me access to their fancy middle and highclass world. Sexwork is stigma and many of us don't have the chance of outing themselfs. All at all we mostly don't get a job when we are out as sexworker or cannot tell the boss what we have done for money the last years. For sure we don't get a rent contract and these are only some of our discrimination's. Don't ask about our kids who don't out themselves as “son of a whore” or “daughter of a whore” at school cause this nice words are used in a bad way in their schools. But, all at all, sexwork can be fun and it can empower us. It can be feminist work and has different faces. We spoke with sexworkers from all over the world and created a show about it. It's produced by experimental experience in an inclusive way and we worked together a lot to find our way to play, laugh, have fun and work with hard personal topics and stories in a show which was nearly 3 hours long. The Pleasance theatre was an amazing location and an 8 to 10 meter stage with lots of backstageplace plus an amazing technic gave us the possibility to run 13 shows in front of 200 people per show. So important to work as sexworker on our our show. To use our voices and speak in solidarity with those who sent us their stories. Hopefully some of them can be on stage at one of the next shows... Let's see in which countries we can perform next. Our voices also include our stories. I performed as streetbased sexworker, dominatrix, queer sexworker, bizarrelady, businesswoman and activist. Find out which character I wasn't used to.... At one point I created a performance to honor the dead of murdered sexworkers. A topic which is an important topic in my performance work since years. A hard topic for me. I find new ways all the time in dealing with it. A cast member speaks about the Cross Bones Graveyard Memorial Garden ,a forgotten Cemetery for sex workers in London. In the past sexworkers were forbidden the rites of the church, so long as they continued that sinful life, and were excluded from Christian burial, if they were not reconciled before their death. And therefore there was a plot of ground called the Single Woman’s churchyard, appointed for them far from the parish church(2).After pointing out the fact many of us (with a high percentage of transsexworker) got killed cause of stigma the audience got asked to follow the cast at one minute of silence. For me a hard way of reacting on violence against sexworker. I have to be active. I like to shout, to move myself. I can't be quiet cause I feel silenced in that way. All of us have different ways of reacting to this hard topic. It's just my way. I enter the stage after the minute and strip in a way I show the audience I am comfortable with my body. It's a stigma to have a transgendered body. As a sexworker with a transgendered body I am multiple stigmatized. Most of the killed sexworkers had a trans*feminine body. We are good enough to fuck with for making a “special experiance” and got exotised cause of the way our body looks like on one hand but on the other hand we got killed cause we are just “unnatural perverts” and more things I don't feel able to write down and publish it. They say we are trapped in a wrong body and it's wrong to look like us. A good reason for me to show the audience my body isn't a trap, it's my main love in my poly loveaffaire chaos. In the end I dedicated that strip to my killed colleges. I got bounded and touched in a beautiful way from 4 cast members who put me in to bondage with my beloved shibari ropes. To get connected with them and my community. To Feel and think about our connection. The connection to those who live and to those who are dead. To those who experienced violence and survived. My ropes, my ropefetish was my personal way to feel it. Like many of us have their special way to feel it. When the 4 castmembers start pulling on my rope and try to turn it in to their power and change their character cause of it, I don't agree, get rid of my ropes and pull them on the stage floor in a second. It's my symbol to get rid of the asunment of being a victim cause of my work and the way my body looks like. Sexwork is my work. Prostitution is what I do for money. My feminismn and my way of acting. I shout “prostitution gives me power” and start a rave on stage where the full cast dances on stage and shout the slogans we normally shout on the street at our marches for more rights ,less stigma and decriminalisation for sexworker. We are loud as I like to be as the answer on repression and social pressure. Yes, my work and my activism empowers me, gives me power, gives me access to my body and shows feminismn is possible. To have the chance of performing like that on stage is one of the great chances in being part of a sexworkerled show. We are not the poor victim or the happy hooker. We are just individual workers with individual ways of living and loving who are creating their individual live. We make jokes about those who try to fuck us up, we share special individual stories and we have fun on stage. All at all, we don't fit in to their mainstream view on sexwork. The best part of the sexworkers opera? Being together for 4 weeks with a group of sexworkers and allies during creating our show. Communitywork is such important and lovely. We need safe spaces for sexworkers and their allies everywhere all over the world!
(1):I use the term “Lesbian” to describe my desire. It don't feel fair and correct to use it without”” and cause many of those whom I fell in love with are not femmes. When I have an affair with a femme, which happens from time to time, it feels lesbian. What's up with butches, woman, inbetweens and all those who are not cismale but I am able to fall in love with? Some of them use “he” as pronoun and some “they” or other pronouns which fits perfect to them. So I choose “Lesbian*” to point out Cisdudes are not included in my private desire (ask me for the price guys).
Meine Professionalisierungsworkshops für Sexarbeiter_Innen
It's something about my professionalizing workshops for sexworkers. Cause it takes place on our workplaces in Germany it doesn't make sense to write in English. For sure Bulgarian, Romania, Russia or Thai would make more sense but I don't speak it yet. Ask me if you are interested in that topic.
Professionalisierung gibt Sinn. In der Sexarbeit, wie auch in anderen Berufen, Ist professionelles arbeiten die Grundlage für zufriedene Kunden und sowohl Zufriedenheit als auch Sicherheit bei den Arbeiter_Innen. Move e.V. hat auch diese Überlegung angestellt und bietet in Kooperation mit der Aidshilfe Professionalisierungsworkshops für Sexarbeiter_Innen an, welche auch die Bezahlung übernimmt, daher ist das Angebot für euch kostenlos. Ich bin eine von vielen der ausgebildeten Trainer_Innen (in meinem Fall sogar Peer to peer) für Sexarbeiter_Innen. Wir kommen an Euren Arbeitsplatz (Solange ihr mindestens 3 Sexarbeiter_Innen seit die zusammen arbeiten) und unterrichte das was Ihr braucht um professioneller zu arbeiten. Das kann sowohl Euren legalen Status wie Eure Krankenkasse oder Steuernummer betreffen als auch um safe arbeiten oder den Umgang mit Kunden gehen. Momentan arbeite ich an einem workshop in dem ich darüber schule wie Frau sich am besten präsentiert und mit dem Kunden kommuniziert. Die workshops können unterschiedliche Schwerpunkte haben und richten sich nach Euren Bedürfnissen und den Bedürfnissen des Arbeitsplatzes. Wir kommen während Eurer Arbeitszeit an Euren Arbeitsplatz und Kundenunterbrechungen haben Vorrang. Sprecht mich an um näheres auszumachen. Die workshops sind für alle Geschlechter, egal ob trans* oder Cis. Um eine Sprachmittlung kann ich mich kümmern wenn es nötig ist. Es ist egal ob Ihr in einer Bar, einem Bordell, auf der Strasse, einem Stripclup, Massagesalon, einer Wohnung, in einem Studio oder wo auch sonst arbeitet. Schreib mich an um näheres auszumachen (Emyfemätgmx.de). Im Anschluss gibt es ein Zertifikat.
Privileges and Impressions
This month I was in Ankara/turkey twice. I spoke on sexworkerconferences from Pembehayat and red umbrella. I learned a lot and spoke about the situation for sexworker in Germany, about the effect of multiplestigmatisation on the work and life of sexworkers and also on trauma and pts(d), which is actually a huge topic in my life. Well, once again I write in my crappy nonacademic English full of mistakes but, in fact, this is my actual language. The main language I speak about my thoughts, my feelings and emotions. The persons I communicate mainly with about this topics don't speak German better than me English and this crappy English is the compromise in communication I have access on. But it's also a privilege to speak English which is reflected to less. I cannot want everyone everywhere to understand and communicate in my English, also when I enter another country. Well, I entered Ankara twice when there was a bomb attack shortly before. The German government told us to leave Ankara and not to fly to turkey. Some of my friends too. Fuck that! What's with my colleagues and friends in turkey? Should they also leave? Are they allowed to do it? Uh, they need a special visa which is hard to get. Surprise! So, my live is more important than theirs or what?! No way. For sure I was confused. I had a breakup, I messed up the date of a workshop, lost lots of money and time for travel costs cause of it, I had insomnia and trouble with my pts(d). My last client was a mess and than I received a “Emy don't fly!” phone call. In the end it felt weird to cancel and I facebooked a Turkish activist about it. In the end my decision was clear, I fly to the amazing conference with beautiful and great sexworkeractivists and sexworkers. It was definitely the wright decision. I teach ed and learned, loved, partied, get drunk, tried to make a client, had sex and hot interactions and listened a lot to story's of my Turkish colleagues. I reflected my view on them. The victimizing which often happens when we read about murdered and raped sexworkers, mostly trans*feminine sexworker, in Turkey. Heij, most of my colleges are alive. They love and live like me, like us. Yes, violence against sexworkers is horrible. There are many reasons to make it public and fight against whorephobia and transpohobia. But, please, don't forget those who survive. Who work and who are people like you and me. Don't victimize them, just ask, when you meet them, IF something is needed, IF they want to speak. Invite them if they want and listen to their stories. Yes, there are violent assholes around but nearly all of our clients are not those. Those who kill us are mostly not our clients. When we only speak about the 1% of clients who are border crossing violent murders we forget about the others. Yes, more than half of my colleges in turkey had violence experiences and every violence is too much. It's the job of all of us to fight against it. To support them who survive and ask what they need to handle trauma and pts in case they need something (but don't go on their nerves with too much questions). Please don't forget the fact they are doing their live and work like everyone else and reflect your view. I also try to do it.
Don't be one of the Saviors!
For more informations have a look at:
Thanks and love to Jenny Tale for the pic of me with the umbrella
Work shops & my sexwork
2015 is over now. Time for a reflection around my work cause the year begins normally quiet and I don't celebrate Xmess. Workshops where a big topic last year. I did 25 workshops around the topic of Sexwork and some in direction bdsm/tantra, also some for transpeople and persons with transitionexperiences. It's a clear direction. I did professionalisingworkshops for Sexworker at their workplaces and educated structures who are in contact with them around the topics of sexwork and trans. Most of my workshops are not connected to cis or trans* which I like a lot. Also there where many workshops placed on different feminist and sexworkconferences around the topic of sexwork. I feel I like to create a new workshop cause I did the „sex works“ workshop all over germany now (and I am up for doing it in other countrys cause it's not connected to germany). It will be more about whorestigma and stratgedies to reduce and thematise it. Education and working together is a nice work. I also learn a lot from questions and feedbacks. Many discussions where the follow up of it. I have the impression things are changing in the feminist and queer scene around the position to Sexwork and, maybe, my workshops and Inputs did their thing to help setting up more awareness. For shure there where also a lot of different sexworking experiances around me. New clients, new workprofiles and new ideas. It would be a dream to work only as queer sexworker but the reality is another. I work also as a professional dominatrix and start working as a bizarre fetish escort. Mainstream for the money and queer for my desire. A shame but capitalismn sucks. I try to work on the topic to get as much queer clients that I can concentrate only on queer sexwork. Yes, it's totally OK to get in charge of sexual services when you are a woman, femme or butch. When you are queer or trans*. Go for it! Give a shit on your socialisation and discurses which says only straight cisguys are allowed to ask for sexual services. I know it's hard but seriously: Did you never thought about stressless consensual services? About an erotic massage, a tantra massage, sex or a special bdsm practise? C'mon it happened yes? Ask me. If you are able to accept a „No“ without drama you can ask me seriously everything and I will give you a friendly and respectful „No“ if it's not my thing. And, for shure, I can bring you in contact with other queer or Lesbian Sexworker if I'm not your thype or my service don't fit to your dreams. Yust ask, firstname.lastname@example.org is my mailadress....
Sex Work Connections
A sex working performative workshop
Realise, reflect and explore your boundaries and get bound by the topic of sex work. Enjoy the touch. Take your time and get connected with the magic of ropes, bodies and words. Discover your borders and how to communicate them. Are your preconceived notions of sex work real? Break the stigma of sex work in and outside your head and your body during a special interactive performance.
There are as many different connections to sexwork existing as persons who are connected to it. Connected in different ways, as worker, client, friend, allies, lovers, mothers or daughters. fathers or sons. Connections with different possibilities and backgrounds. We are Cis and trans*(1), rich and poor. We have different class backgrounds and abilities. Some of us do sexwork by choice, some have no chance to do another job. At my 2 performances, all in all 4 hours long, at and around the wonderful contempory art gallery powerplant in Toronto I presented different connections on the topic of sexwork. The first part was in the exibition space which was flooded in redlight. I presented different parts of the sex industry. did little sessions and spoke about my experiences. In the end I took my ropes and installed a living organism with some participatants of the performative workshop. The second part was a 1,5 hr long bus ride. Another trip to sexwork. „Sex working places“ was a bus ride to this special connection. A mystery tour to a silenced but magic topic full of taboo and stigma. It went to the places where our kids are playing but where we are not allowed to be near to them because it's not allowed for sexworkers to be at places like that. We passed by normal living places and posh skyscrapers just to speak out that sexwork takes place everywhere. There was a train station where we traveled and hid our identity when we travelled from Canada to the US because it's forbidden for sexworker´s to travel to the US. At the end of our journey, we went to the place were Lean Freeman, a sexworker was shot and killed. Not as a victim but as the result of stigma and repression. Some of these topics seem to be hard but, all in all we do the job we like and are fine with it. It was an intense experience with nice feedback. And yes, I am totally up for doing it once again. Maybe at another setting with different audience, adapted to another situation, to other views and connection to the topic of sexwork.
Pictures on sexwork. Created by the media and abolitionists in an unrealistic way. The shame on bodies and sexuality does the rest. I try to break it with my view on it. I'm presenting my position in the sex industry in an arty way. With not forgetting those who work in fields of the industry I am not so deeply into.
Connects on different levels, different connections, between different bodies and backgrounds.
Are reminding Collectors.
Brings Sessions and emotions together.
Hold me and held others.
The exibition is already over. A rope was hanging from the ceiling. People touched it, built up a friendship, a connection. I brought one of the performance ropes I used at the end of my first performance to the place where Lean Freeman was shot down in November of 2011. I transformed it into an umbrella, the sign for the fight for sexworker rights. I performed a spoken words for her which I wrote when Dora Ozar was shot down in Kushdasin/Turkey some years ago to build up bridges and connect the struggle. Find her memorial in Toronto. Is the rope still in the fence? What did it collect there? Touch it, feel it. Repair the umbrella if it's needed. Say hello from me. Take your time and listen to it's stories. Collect, listen and give a bit of your power to it. This special location teaches, once again, how important it is to fight for full legalisation and decriminalisation of sexwork worldwide.
] (1):For those who don't know it already: A Cis person is a person who lives in the gender which was assumed at their birth and a trans* person does it in another way. The Star is a symbol for our diversity cause THE typical Transperson is not existing, Transpersons come in different bodies and genders. Btw, trans is not a gender and not a sexuality.
Whorestigma is everywhere. Affects all sexworkers in different special ways despite who you are and where you work and live. I work mostly in germany. So, I have the right to pay taxes, I can advertise and at some places it's legal to work in brothels, on the street and wherever sexwork is not prohibited. As long the sexworker can manage the burocracy and the high, and oftenly racist standart to be legal. In Germany it's possible soon we will have new laws and controls which illegalise and stigmatise more Sexworkers. New regulations will change the situation in germany in creating a bigger classdifference in the sexindustry and kicking more sexworker in to illegallity. The state is our biggest pimp and while the clients can be clients officially. We are stigmatised, cause we are criminalised and sexwork isn't a normal job. My clients can name themself clients officially without getting fined. I can also name myself a sexworker because both is legal. Shure, both of us are stigmatised so, mostly we don't do it. The chance of being out is a priviledge and depense of your lifestyle and stigmatas. I did a short Trip to Canada/US. Had the amazing chance to work out 2 performances/workshops on the topic of sexwork in a Contempory art galery in Toronto. And I learned a bit about the feeling of being fully illegalised and the illegalisation of my clients. Learned how it felt not to be open about my job. Only a short time and the experiance isn't deep enough to speak about it out of a peerperspective. Not deep enough. But, in the end I was able to understand it a bit. Trauma can get created by violence experiances. Also by ongoing discriminations of constantly being illegalised and stigmatised like that. My trip was too short for me to speak for myself on this. But, I am a survivor for other reasons.
It was a hot summer day at Staten Island. A part of New York. I wear a short skirt and biked on an old racingbike through an industrial area. No lived in houses, less cameras, no cops. Cause I lost my way a bit and it was hot I sit down under a tree in the shadow and relaxed. When I was studying my map to find out where I am the cars stoped and asked me about my price. Really. every 2nd car did it. Cause I'm a hooker it wasn't a drama for me. We didn't agreed on my price and everything was fine. I reflected afterwards the situation. It felt unsecure in this industrial area were noone was able to see us. Shure. Sexwork and asking for sexual services is illegal in NY. So it has to happen in shitty areas and under shitty working situations. Shure, escort, bdsm and other services which are placed in a higher class in the sexindustry work out in another way. Criminalisation and Illegalisation of sexworker is a strange idea. Beeing aware of cops and serialkiller during the work makes you ill. To hide my sexworkidentity was a strange experiance. Left me feeling bad and „ugly“. Fuck. This can be the lifenormality of many of my collegues. Not cool at all.
The silent murder
The cancer in our life and other bodys.
Created by our selfnamed doctors
Bad jobs my dears.
We don't need you anymore, your mission failed.
You kill us, our children, our lovers, our family and our friends
We are mothers and fathers, daughters and sons.
We make money with the skills and possibilitys we have. Like most people in Capitalismn.
We love our body and health. Cause we fuck regulary with sti infected or/ and hiv poistiv guys we are also experts in staying healthy.
We are the experts who are always getting „saved“ by „experts“ who have no ideas about the specialitys of the working experts.
„Experts“ earn money by „saving“ us.
We earn money by working.
Who is the expert?
Piss off. Save yourself, not us. We don't need your fucking saveing.
Life can be cool and sexy
If not, we will find solutions, so if you want to help, give us your fucking money, the rights we need and as for acceptance.....that we can give eachother.
No problem to respect us for our allies, kids, friends and collegues.
We want full decriminalisation and legalisation now.
We don't need your special laws cause we are not special.
Good bye fucker!
2 weeks earlyer in Toronto. More rights for sexworkers but also a lot of stigma and fear around sexwork. I am in the harbourarea in front of the fancy city. A dirty road in an unfriendly area. In the middle of nowhere you can find a small handmade memorial. Nobody is speaking about it. Nobody knows it.
Leanne Freeman, a sexworker, was murdered there November 2011. I took a bondagerope and created an umbrella in the fence next to the memorial and let it stay. The sign for the fight for sexworker rights. For the need to fight against stigma again and again. The real murderers are those who create situations which let us work in areas like that.
The real murderers are those who create our stigma with their laws. Nearly all over the world. Everywhere where sexwork is criminalised and not fully legalised. As long those statefounded pimps bring out the seeds for our murder, the fight for sexworker rights and fully decriminalisation is a fight for human rights.
Sex Work Connections
Who has the priviledge to get in charge of our beautiful sexual services? Who's voices and storys got heard? Who has enough languagescills, academic backrond, time and power to write and performe?, Sex work connections. What are yours, what are mine? Are you a sexworker, a client or....? Maybe a mother or a daughter of a sexworker, maybe.... I am connected to sexwork in different ways. Sexwork, what does it mean? I did, do, am, will do, be a dominatrix, escortlady, masseuse, stripper, pornactress.... I work on different places. I have shit lots of priviledges. How should I handel this point? Try to let person heard and payed who don't have my possibilitys. Sexwork is a huge part of my life and the connections are different. Whose connection? which kind of connection exists? Experiances with sexwork are different in general. There is not „the story“ about Sexwork. For shure Sexworkstory can only be told by sexworker. Sexwork is stigma and a stigmatised connection to a topic can only spoken out in an authentic way by those who are directly affected by the stigma. I am a performer, activist and workshopfacilitator. Performances and workshops are my language, my way to communicate. My ways to work with my stigmas. So, I created
''A sex working performative workshop called Sex Work Connections''
Realise, reflect and explore your boundaries and get bounded by the topic of sex work. Enjoy the touch. Take your time and get connected with the magic of ropes, bodies and words. Discover your borders and how to communicate them. Are your preconceived notions of sex work real? Break the stigma of sex work in and outside your head and your body during a special interactive performance.
Let's get in touch.
Body. Work. Consensus. Sex.
The premiere of the performance will take place in Toronto at the 24th of June 2015 and if you are interested in it somewhere else (I'll be in Toronto till end of June, afterwards in New York till mid Jul and than back in berlin) pm me.
Space is limited and advance registration is required. Please call 416.973.4949 or email email@example.com to reserve a spot.
There are different ways to get in contact with the topic of sexwork. Another proposal would be: Join my BUS RIDE in Toronto:
"Sex Working Places – A Bus Ride to a Special Connection"
Saturday, 27 June, 2–3:30PM: Join a special mystery ride to a silenced but magical topic full of taboo and stigma. Are your pictures of sex workers and their clients real? Explore the professional consensus of sexual services and build bridges in and outside the bus. Be guided by a lesbian sex worker at Toronto’s prideday.
--- more information at: YES! Association/Föreningen JA!
For more information about the exhibition please call 416.973.4949 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. www.thepowerplant.org
---With support by Iaspis, the Swedish Arts Grants Committee's International Programme for Visual Artists.
A sensual experimental workshop
Let's see when and where it will be placed once again....
Geniesse die Berührung. Die Erotik des Spiels. Ein Spiel so individuell und
sinnlich wie die Spielenden. Vom Hauch bis zum Schmerz gibt es viele Wege. Entdecke
Sie und finde deine/eure Dynamik.
Der Moment. Die Erwartung dessen, was kommen wird. Momente die Zeit erstarren
lassen können. Die Lust der Intensität. Sich spüren. Berührung ist
unterschiedlich, individuell, Lustvoll.
In diesem workshop geht es darum die Dynamik vom Sensualplay zu entdecken oder
auszuweiten. Miteinander oder auch alleine den eigenen/gemeinsamen Rhythmus, die
erotisch kinky Choreographie zu entwickeln die die Dynamik dieser eigenen Spielart
ausmacht. Wir werden gemeinsam Grenzen entdecken, wahrnehmen und kommunizieren.
UnserE Gegenüber und uns selber mit unseren Bedürfnissen realisieren. Die Umsetzung
ist so vielseitig wie wir. D/S, Tantra, Painplay, Haare, Atem, Federn, Bondage,
Nadeln, Wachs, Messer, leichte, kaum spürbare Berührungen, Stimme und Wörter,
Dildos und vieles mehr. Alles kann passen oder falsch sein. Sensualplay ist eine lustvolle Entdeckungsreise. Komm mit Deinen PartnerInnen oder alleine und bring mit was euch Lust bereitet wenn ihr damit verwöhnt oder gequält werdet, womit Ihr gerne andere oder euch selbst Lust und/oder Schmerzen zufügt.
Und lasst Euch Zeit (damit ist nicht Unpünktlichkeit gemeint). Dieses ist eine Möglichkeit des Durchatmens und Entdeckens. Die Zeit unsere Träme und Dynamiken Praxis werden zu lassen und zu erspielen. Dieser workshop ist für Personen jedes Geschlechts und jedes Körpers. Reflektiere Deine Privilegien diesbezüglich bevor Du kommst und überlege wie diese sich in Begegnungen bemerkbar machen.
Enjoy touch and the eroticism of play. Sensuality and play are as individual as the people experiencing them. The game of sensuality and eroticism has several different faces. There are many paths on the journey from sensuality to pain. Explore your own dynamic. The anticipation of what is to come. Sense the passion of intensity. The goal of this workshop is to explore the individual dynamics of practicing sensual play. Finding one's own pace or a common rhytmn, a person can develop their own kinky choreography. We will discover our borders and the way to communicate them. Setting boundaries is important and often difficult. Realizing the needs of ourselves and others. Each person is different and has separate desires: D/S, tantra, pain play, hair, feathers, bondage, needles, wax, knives, ghost breath, voice and words, dildos and much more. Everything can be right or be wrong. Sensual play is a lusty journey of discovery. Enter with your partners or alone. Bring ideas, toys and anything else that really turns you on. Take your time (but be on time). This workshop is about presence, exploration and breathe. The hands-on experance of your dreams and dynamics.
This workshop is open for all gender and bodythypes. Reflect your priviledges which are connected to that topic before you enter the space.
Yes means yes and no means no!
ThanXXX Aurora for the pics
Scares of your life Inside and on your body made without consense made by violence with different faces or perpetrators. makes you dying in different ways.
Transition is power. The power which helps me to survive. Surviving is cool! Let me feel I am alive.
The power of consensual scares. Inside and outside my body made by beautiful kinky people and doctors whom I don't know. Scares which are more powerful than the uncensensual once. Cover the ugly ones and replace them with beauty and power. Enough power to empower those beautiful people with too much uncensual scares. Beauty and pain. Are sometimes in a powerful relationship. My special loveaffair with my scares.
Transition is power!
Pics by Alex Giegold
Photoshop byAgata Holcer
“The Queer Body. A journey to your sexual self.”
A performative workshop by Emy Fem
Every body changes, transitions, rests. What we feel, what we show, is reality. Do we feel good? We are who we are. We self-define with respect. BDSM transforms us. Through play we create our consensual realities. In these moments of play, we practice respect acceptance and empowerment. Transition is change, empowerment and respect.
The body and BDSM
The goal of this workshop is energetic body-awareness. When we drop assumptions and limitations about anatomy, gender and sexuality, who are we? With "Queer Body & Sex" we explore diversity of gender, sexuality and the body and go on the journey to our „True identity“. Bodies are open and changeable. Tantric elements give you the chance to restructure yourself. Breathing, touching and language describing bodies are used to help us explore sexuality and create intimacy.
Workshop participants practice creating their own boundaries, limits and needs in a playful way. They will come away with the ability to heighten their senses and use new tools of conscious and consensual practices in their everyday lives. Through breathwork and relaxation exercises, space will be made for emotional release.
Transition, transfomation and the enthusiastic empowerement of it all.Let your identity become part of a creative process of transformation and change. Utilizing physical and energetic bodywork, we will create our own bodies that are free of assumptions of the societal norm.
One's body can be a difficult topic, full of shame and fear. Participants are invited to pack, bind, tuck or do whatever else the need to do to be comfortable moving in their bodies.
I taught this workshop in several settings:
-"Quintasensual-Festival"2014 (www.quintasensual.org) with Emma Steel -„Kinks unlimited Osterkonferenz“2013 mit Kai Simon Stoeger -“Transtagung Berlin“ (www.transtagung.org) 2012 and 2013 with Kay Garnelen and Kai Simon Stoeger.
I'm open to place this workshop somewhere. If you are interested, contact me.
Die Reise zu Geschlecht, Körper und Sexualität
Ein performativer workshop
Jeder Körper verändert sich, steht manchmal still, kreiert das, was ist. Gefühltes wird dargestellt, ist Realität. Fühlt sich gut an? Wir sind was wir sind. Nach unserer Selbstdefinition und Respect. Bdsm verändert. Spielt. Kreiert das, was ist. Was gewollt ist. Consensual und Real. Im Moment des Spiels. Respect und Akzeptanz. Selbstbestimmte Veränderung und Hingabe. Transition ist Veränderung. Selbstbestimmt und respectvoll. Körper und Bdsm
Mit diesem workshop soll erreicht werden das sich die Teilnehmenden bewusst werden, wer sie sind. Ausblenden, welche Anatomie, Geschlecht und Sexualiät Ihnen zugewiesen wird. Zu fühlen, was Sie ausmacht. Die Diversität von Geschlecht, Körper und Sexualität zu zelebrieren. Körper sind offen, veränderbar, sich die eigenen Wege und die eigenen Intensitäten suchend. Tantrische Elemente ermöglichen unter anderem eine Umstrukturierung des eigenen sexuellen Empfindens. Atem, Berührung und individuelle Verbalisierung des eigenen Körpers in Verbindung mit dem richtigen sensiblen Abstand zueinander ermöglichen es uns zu erforschen und spüren. Die Workshopteilnehmer_Innen begeben sich auf eine körperlich/sinnlichen Entdeckungsreise zu eigenen und anderen Empfindungen. Das Konsensuelle entdecken von Grenzen, Wohlfühlen und Sicherheit sind Teil dieses Spiels in einem intimen Setting. Mit Atem-, und Entspannungsübungen wird Raum für das subjektive körperliche Empfinden in der Situation selbst gegeben. Die Lust der Transition und das Empowerement der Veränderung des eigenen Körper und Sexualität. Die Freude am neuen. Fühlen und ausprobieren wie schön es sein kann zu kreieren oder altes, schon vorhandenes lustvoll nach aussen zu tragen. Werde ein Teil eines kreativen lustvollen Prozesses. Durch ganzheitliche energetische Körperarbeit wird das Bewusstsein und das Gefühl für den eigenen Körper im Kontext zur Wahrnehmung des eigenen Geschlechts und der Sexualität gefördert. Der eigene Körper kann ein schwieriges Thema sein, dass oft mit Scham und Angst besetzt ist. Ich lade deshalb ausdrücklich dazu ein, Stuffer, Binder, Tucking, BH oder was auch immer gebraucht wird um sich wohlzufühlen und gut bewegen zu können anzulassen falls dieses als angenehm oder Notwendig empfunden wird.
Den workshop habe ich in unterschiedlichen Versionen angeboten. -beim "Quintasensual-Festival"2014 (www.quintasensual.org) zusammen mit Emma Steel -auf der „Kinks unlimited Osterkonferenz“ 2013 mit Kai Simon Stoeger -und auf den Transtagung Berlin (www.transtagung.org) 2012 und 2013 sowohl mit Kay Garnelen als auch mit Kai Simon Stoeger
Ich würde mich freuen diesen workshop mal wieder zu halten. Wenn du eine Idee dazu hast lass es mich wissen.
What is a body, where is my body? How does it feel, look like?
I sleep, dream. Feel my body, touch my body. The picture about myself and my sexuality in my head. I touch myself, question myself. Check out, which words feel good in connection to myself. Find my words, loose my words and find new words which fits better to my body and my sexuality. On me. my privacy. Touch me. Over and over again. An erotic game with my body and my sexuality. With myself. What is real, what does it mean“Real“? Am I true, real? Fuck! Assumnment of my body and my sexuality.
A big lie.
My feelings are true. No lie. Feels good.
My mirror, my eyes
your picture of me
My picture of me
Picture of a reality?
What did I see,who am I
My body, my sex, my feelings my emotions.
My body life. My life includes transition. Everything seems changing.
My tits, my pussy, my clit, my skin. The hormones in my body. And much more. Hair, feelings. Intensity. Very intense.
I touch myself. My soft and sensibel skin. A skin formed by Oestrogen. A choosen Hormon in my body. A transitioning body. A body in change. A body I love. Gives me a warm and pleasureful feeling to touch myself in the way I want it. A warm feeling when I touch the place of my pussy where the possibility to produce hormones are removed. My choice! Think of the queer connection to my body which gives me the choice how much testosteron or oestrogen I wanna have in her. My freedom of choice. My pussy, my clit. Part of a personal loveaffair. Persons call her dick. That gives us the feeling of a knife sticking in our body again and again. A neverending knifeattack in my head and in my body. Again and again. They want me feel uncomfortabel with the body I like but I don't give them this pleasure. I am aprisoner in the prison of assumnment, transphobia and femmephobia. I ran aginst the walls. Again and again. Till they break apart. Standing in the ruines of their prison. Tentacels shot out of my body. Beat them quick and let them stay in questions I don't answer on. I lick my scars in my third live.Cats have 7 lives and me? Scares are painful in the beginning. My transition teached me after every scare comes a new lustful beautiful part. The surgant artists, the breaking down of prison walls create painful prozesses with knifes and scalpels. The pain gives me the feeling of an ungoing prozess of live. The lustful life of a Cyborg.
My body, my sex. No testosterone, no testacels, no sperm. A clit, which is bigger than many other clits. Different and individual as every clit. My orgasmn, my breathe. A big connection. The fantastic feelingit's gettin higher and higher. Intense, intense, intense. My body opens itself, The feeling something wanna come out but it didn't work. It comes, I come. Total connection and quietness. The need of touches . The touch of my body, my clit, my tits. The Dildo. The dildo? Touch the silicone, the leather of my strapon. A hot feeling when I pull the strapon over my legs. Slowly put it up. Around my whip, my ass. Position the belts and pull it as strong as possibel. A breath. The feeling of transition. My clit slips into the dildo. Her little cave.What's happening, what's changing? Which connection is needed? A dominant toy or A dick? He is touching it, licking it. Gives the dildo a blowjob. The dildomagic starts its transition. Silicone turns into flesh. The straponbelts are the roots of the dildo, the dick. Growing out of my body into it. Into him. Put it of. Slowly. Feel the place of the straponbelts. My clit slips out of the dildo. Again it's a dido. Again feels like silicone. My look on it. Confused. Get fucked. He is lying on me. Softly went his dick nearer to my pussy. Like a dry sponge which comes in contact with fluid she's getting in contact. suck. A bit afraid she opens herself for his dick. We try to get ridof the assumnment of the impossibility of this kind of sex, in and out the transphobic prison, and realise our reality. I realise his dick and he realise my pussy. When his dick goes slowely into my pussy every questionmark is gone I try to look down and close my eyes cause my inner picture is the best reality. My reality. I am my own Cyborg. Create myself on the way I am. My soft transitioned skin. The removed hairs all over the body. My face without beart, a long and painful process. The pain when Hyranol went under my skin, electric needels and laser burn it. The look in the mirror and the touch of my Cyborg? Human? Face. The love when I touch it. When others touch it. The preasure of growing breasts gives me a hot feeling. The soft little growing breasts. So nice to feel the transition on that way. Comfortabel with it and the need to change it again. When I feel the siliconepads on it, see me in the mirror before they put this siliconepads under the skin and under my actual breasts. Let them be part of my transitioned femme Cyborg body. EveryBody is cool, is hot in it's own way. Is changing. Getting older, loose parts, have different abilitys, mobility, transitionprozesses and dreams. Find it out how you are. Think about your transition. Get in touch with you, with others. Feel, see, ask who and how we are and break down the walls.
get rid of assignments!
Schmeiß Zuweisungen in die Tonne!
Some month before I descriped my pussy in the way I feel her. This description was given to a person who painted it. this person didn't know me. Crazy to see the outcome. I will print it out and hang it next to my mirror. Important to visualize my reality!
Vor einigen Monaten habe ich meine Pussy beschrieben wie ich sie empfinde. Diese Beschreibung wurde einem Gerichtszeichner gegeben der eine Zeichnung davon angefertigt hat.Wow, dass Ergebnis hat mich geflasht. Es war so, wie ich Sie empfinde. Ich werde das Foto jetzt ausdrucken und neben meinen Spiegel hängen! Die wunderbare [Ausstellung von Alex Giegold und Tomka weiss] (http://www.actioner.de/veranstaltungen-archiv/1059058/wiqtinqt-genital-call-genitalien-vor-gericht-by-alex-giegold-tomka-weiss) namens Genital call in der das Bild gezeigt wurde hat mir ein Schritt weitergeholfen die gewaltvollen Zuweisungen loszuwerden die meine Pussy und meine Clit ständig erfahren. ThanXXX Euch!
Sexworkpolitics and stigma all around the world and at the Worldaidconference2014
Back from my trip to Melbourne and London. I am full of inspirations and input of many cool activists and Sexworker from all over the world. After a hard trip to Melbourne, got a client in the night before, how to pack stuff, clothes and tools for a month including Australian winter and british summer for a Conference, work, holiday, and a queertantrafestial in one bag? I managed it and in London my bag fall apart and I had to buy a new one...., I entered the Sexworkeronlypreconference in Melbourne directly from the airport. Two days intense work with 60 sexworker from all over the world followed. Scarlet Alliance did awsome work in creating a safe and including space. We worked together on topics which are important for the aidsconference. Topics which shows our needs. Everybody had the possibility to get prepared cause of Internetcommunication before. We tryed to build up a worldwide consense about the topics: Biomedical developments, Stigma and discrimination, Human Rights issues including criminalisation of HIV and sex work, Migration and mobility and about Funding. Read the complete Consense we created under this link. How is this possibel? Is it really an including consensus? How could it work that it's not dominated by akademic Australian Sexworkactivists who are used to speak in front of audiance and who speak a proper English? Use your priviledges to give others a chance. Have a look for proper translation, make translationbreaks, use a simpel language, try to speak a bit slower as normal and don't speak about people who are in the room without trying to give them the chance to speak for themself. Oftenly there was the situation that a australian Sexworkactivist asked directly people who needed a translation, didn't spoke proper english and had no or less microphoneexperiance to speak and present topics. There was also a lot of work in invitation made. Not everyone has the priviledge to travel to Melbourne. So support was needed in founding and organising trips to give persons the chance to speak. Only less of my collegues have the possibility to organize such a trip. So, help was needed and done. I realized more and more the importance of Inclusion. I cannot make Sexworkpolitic without it. Easy work for me, in my priviledged situation, to forget it. Hard work to organize real Inclusion. Not writing on a webpage which is not noticed by „lowclasssexworker“ that Every Sexworker is invited, but finding solutions to get in contact and work together. But How does this work out? I went on my trip of this question. Peereducation and Peercommunitysupport was made by many Sexworker in Australia, New Zealand, Thailand and many other countrys. I had a look in Peereducationmaterial of Empower and Red, spoke to peereducaters and did a bit Contact. It was clear, and not new for me, support makes only sence when it's made peer to peer. It's not nessesary if you are a socialworker but it's nessesary that you are a sexworker. A Sexworker where the classdifference is not to big. Sometimes the highclassescort don't speak the same language than the streetbased Sexworker.... This Language brang me to the point to visit Crosstalkon my trip back to berlin in London. What do you need as Sexworker. When you are a stranger in a strange country (around 50% of australian and 80% of german Sexworker have a migrant backround)? The possibility to Communicate, Contacts, a place to live and a Community where you feel a part of. X-talk created breakfast every week and poledancelessons. A cool place to meet. To contact and learn. They also educate english. The english you need in the Sexindustry. Teached by educated sexworker. Whom else? It's superimportant to built up structures like that. For shure we have to stand up for our rights. Important fight against Criminalisation and Stigma! But we oftenly forgert the Work and livingsituation of our collegues and friends over this topic. Easy, when Sexwork is the only Stigma you have and the fight against it let you forget the topic, that other Sexworker have to fight against double/tripel and more stigmas. For Exampel beeing a migrant Sexworker, a trans*sexworker, disabeled Sexworker, Sexworker of colour and much more. Lot's of work to do in Germany and other countrys. Building up or perfectionalise Community based Sexworkerprojects and organise foundingpossibilitys. Back to the Conference: Lots of cool actions happened. For shure the conference was a scientist based conference. 12000 people where there all in all. Many persons spoke about us, who spread the virus into the world. Forget the point that Sexworker are the Experts in protecting HIV. Hom get founded to support us? For shure not we. Only 1% of the founding is on our side and we have to fight with educated nonsexworkers about that money. [We brought it on stage ] (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202322416157928&set=o.19550508825&type=2&theater )with direct actions and statements. There was a lovely sexworkernetworkingzone with many events. You were abel to enter it without paying the expensie entrence which, for shure, only priviledged persons were abel to pay. We had lots of exchange about workingsituations everywhere. About different models of decriminalisation and legalisation of Sexwork which mostely don't work out in a proper way. Sexworkervoices get heard at many places of the conference and it was much work to make it happen. A big thanXXX to the Australian and Newzealand Sexworkerorganisations who checked the programm out and had a good overview what was happen where. So, Interventions happened and worked out in a proper way. The Sexworkernetworkingzone was a place to connect and organize all the wonderful Sexworker from all over the world.
I miss you.
Worldaidsconference 2014 in Melbourne
20th till 25th of Jul will be the worldaidsconference in Melbourne.An import place to network and bring in the topic of sexwork. Sexworker will meet at the preconference and bring in their topics at the big conference.I will also go there.Let's fight against stigma and discrimination.
Vom 20.-25.Juli wird in Melbourne die Weltaidsconference2014stattfinden. ein wichtiger Ort zum Networken und um Sexarbeitsbelange einzubringen. Ich werde auch dort hinfahren. Lasst uns gegen das Hurenstigma vorgehen und für gleiche Rechte weltweit eintreten.
Queer Body and Sex. Diverse workshops and a performance.@Quintasensual
I gonna run some workshops and an inputs at the quintasensual-festival mid august together with Emma Steel. I named mine "Queer Body and Sex. A journey to yourself." "Queer body and sex" will be a mixture between a performance and a workshop.This performative workshop has the goal to bring the audience to the point on requesting their own bodys and sexuality. To get in contact with their "real Identity". In our performance we gonna help the audiance getting in touch on different not normative bodys and sexualitys.
No special date!
Fem_me. A theme that repeats itself in my spoken word pieces and that isn't the only place it appears. My gender, my desire and much more. Something with in which I'm constantly caught up, something that I describe as femme-inism, which you will find in my stage performances, my workshops and my politics. To the repeatedly posed question, "What is femme? " I recommend you take a look at my text below and the following literature and links.
Fem_me. Ein Thema, dass immer wieder in meinen spoken words und nicht nur dort auftaucht. Mein Gender, mein Begehren und viel mehr. Etwas, wovon ich ständig eingeholt werde und das so seinen Weg auf die Bühne, in meine workshops und in meine Politik, die ich als Femmeinismus bezeichne, findet. Auf die ständig gestellte „was ist Femme“ Frage empfehle ich meine Texte danach zu durchsuchen und folgende Literatur und Links.:
-Femmes of Power: Exploding Queer Feminities Del LaGrace Volcano & Ulrika Dahl
-Femme! radikal-queer-feminin von Sabine Fuchs:http://www.das-femme-buch.de/
-"Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity /Chloe Brushwood Rose /Anna Camilleri -Persistence - All Ways Butch and Femme .
-Visible: A Femmethology Edited by Jennifer Clare Burke
International Whores Day/Welthurentag 2.6.
Today is International Whores Day, remembering the occupation of the Eglise Saint- Nizier in Lyon on 2 Jun 1975 by over 100 sex workers to protest against state sanctioned police harassment and violence. Today, there is an international movement organised by sex workers advocating for the decriminalisation of our work to give us better access to occupational health and safety, industrial rights and justice. In NSW we have nearly 20 years experience that demonstrates the success of this model. Yet still there is an increasing push by sex industry abolitionists, second wave feminists, rescue organisations and governments to criminalise our work, our clients, our industries, our workplaces, and to isolate us from the communities, families and support structures we have built around us. Being a whore in this political environment is exhausting and really, really hard. It is a constant uphill battle. If you have sex workers in your life, if you care about human rights, if you recognise the value of intimate labour, if you support social inclusion and anti-discrimination and access to justice regardless of occupation, support sex workers in our campaigns to decriminalise our work. Oppose the bills that criminalise us. Stand up for us.
Der 2. Juni ist der internationale Hurentag. Es ist schoen zu sehen, das weltweit Huren zusammenkommen, kaempfen und feiern. Es gibt viele Kaempfe, die noch vor uns sind.
- Hier die Forderungen der Hurenbewegung von damals und was bis heute (teils) umgesetzt wurde und was immer noch nicht erfolgt ist
- Ein Interview von der Aidshilfe mit mir